Homeschooling

Discipling Children to Be Who God Created Them to Be

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This summer, my son found a CD for me at our local library sale, Amy Grant’s “The Collection.”  I had it as a teenager but misplaced it somewhere along the way.  The lyrics of “All I Ever Have to Be” make far more sense to me now as an adult than they did when I was a teenager:

When the weight of all my dreams
Is resting heavy on my head
And the thoughtful words of help and hope
Have all been nicely said
But I’m still hurting
Wondering if I’ll ever be the one
I think I am…

Those lyrics remind me of a teenage girl that I know.  During the pandemic, my children and I stopped attending a Christian homeschool co-op that we had been a part of.  This past school year, though, we returned, and encountered a lot of people that we hadn’t seen for a couple of years, including this girl. 

I’ve always liked her.  She is cute, friendly, polite, and talented.  She was assigned to one of the same co-op classes as my daughter, but I was dismayed when I discovered that she is now asking to be referred to by a male name, and “they/them” pronouns.  I was further disappointed when, during a Zoom class that was held, I overheard the teacher using the requested name and pronouns.  Then, my 11-year-old daughter also began referring to her with the male name, because that was what she was hearing used in class.

Having my daughter exposed to this ideology at a co-op of Christian children, with classes taught by Christian adults, was a disappointment to me.  If it was a secular group, I would just explain to her that people who do not follow Jesus have different ideas about the world than we do.  How do I explain to her that people who claim to follow the same God as us do not acknowledge His sovereignty when it comes to this issue?  His Word really isn’t ambiguous on this topic:

“So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them.” 

– Genesis 1:27

The more I thought it over, though, my feelings began to change from angry to sad.  I began to see God’s heart for this young lady.

“Before I formed you in the womb, I knew you; before you were born, I set you apart.”

— Jeremiah 1:5

 This sweet girl that God created and loves has been deceived.  Somehow, the enemy has convinced her that God made a mistake when He created her, that she is not whole as she is, that she has to be something different than what He made her to be.

Then you gently re-remind me
That You’ve made me from the first
And the more I try to be the best
The more I get the worst
And I realize the good in me
Is only there because of
Who You are…

Earlier this year, I read an article by a de-transitioner who shared her story of being swept up in gender ideology as a teenager.  She was a lonely girl who found companionship online on platforms like Tumblr.  She felt accepted – at first – until she began to realize that there was a social hierarchy there.  If you were part of an “oppressed” category, you were considered “good,” but if you were an “oppressor” you were “bad.” She was literally made to feel guilty about being born a white, straight female.  Afterwards, she began to question whether she could possibly fit into one of the oppressed categories.  She couldn’t change her race.  She was attracted to men, so she knew that she wasn’t a lesbian, but she wondered, could she be trans?

Reading her story is what finally helped me to understand this sudden phenomenon of rapid-onset gender dysphoria in children and teens.  One interesting point that she made was how all of her online “friends” supported and celebrated her when she “came out” as trans, but the same people completely abandoned and rejected her years later, when she realized that she wasn’t trans, after all.    

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/culture-mind-and-brain/201811/why-is-transgender-identity-the-rise-among-teens

If you read about the history of Marxism and Critical Theory, her story will make more sense to you.  Critical Theory and ideas about oppression are designed to divide people.  They offer no hope, just never-ending conflict.  Who is really behind those ideas?  Who is the author of confusion, the one who comes to destroy?  The enemy of your soul is. Jesus alone offers us the only real reconciliation.  

“The thief does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy. I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly.” 

— John 10:10

“For all of you who were baptized into Christ have clothed yourselves with Christ. There is neither Jew nor Gentile, neither slave nor free, nor is there male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus.” 

— Galatians 3:27-28

 Do not take this verse out of context.  It does not mean that there literally are no genders, just as there obviously are enslaved people and free people.  What it DOES mean is that in the eyes of God, those distinctions do not matter.  Those of us who have accepted Jesus as our Lord and Savior all come to God on the same playing field.  Our identity should no longer depend on our ethnicity, gender, class, etc.  Our identity becomes “follower of Christ” instead.  This is also the lens through which we should view other believers as well. 

Instead of division, Jesus brings unity.

And all I ever have to be is what
You’ve made me
Any more or less would be
A step out of Your plan
As you daily recreate me
Help me always keep in mind
That I only have to do what I can find
And all I ever have to be is
What You’ve made me.

Artist:  Amy Grant

Songwriters: Gary W. Chapman

All I Ever Have to Be lyrics © New Spring Publishing Inc.

If I could tell this girl anything, it would be that God loves you just as you are.  He made you and He doesn’t make mistakes.  He has a plan for your life, and you just have to discover what that plan is.

A few days ago, I saw a news report that a church near me had the LGBT+ flag that they display on their church’s sign vandalized.  I pass this church all the time and have always been disappointed to see this flag displayed there.  However, my thought was that everyone involved in this situation was in the wrong.

If someone had a problem with the flag being displayed, they should have discussed it with the church.  If they found no satisfaction that way, they could have written a letter to the editor of the local paper, sharing their opinion and reasons.  If they had done so, the flag probably still would have remained there, but if they made their argument graciously, they may have planted a seed of truth in someone’s heart that read their words.

By causing destruction, they instead ruined their witness on this issue.  No one who isn’t already in agreement with their discontent about the flag is going to want to hear what they have to say now.

On the other hand, the church was definitely in the wrong for displaying that.  Everyone should be welcome in a church, because we are all sinners in need of a Savior.  We all bring our sins with us when we initially walk through that door, but as we are born again, we must leave them at the foot of the cross.  The church has a responsibility to teach us to repent of our sins, so that we can receive forgiveness for them through the shed blood of Jesus (who willingly took our punishment for us) and spend eternity with our heavenly Father.  It doesn’t matter what the sins are.  It’s all the same in the eyes of God.  If a church hangs a flag that appears as though it is celebrating certain sins, then one has to wonder if they are teaching their congregation that they even need to repent of those things.  If they aren’t, then they are failing the people who walk through their doors.  They are leading them to eternal separation from God and an eternity of torment.  How is that loving?  They are failing the people in their congregation and in their community.

That is why I am so concerned about this issue.  The teacher at the co-op who was calling the girl “they/them” genuinely seems like a very nice person, so I assume she has good intentions, but good intentions aren’t going to get that girl into Heaven.  Sure; she ultimately is going to make her own decisions, but Titus 2:1-5 instructs us:

“But as for you, speak the things which are proper for sound doctrine: that the older men be sober, reverent, temperate, sound in faith, in love, in patience;  the older women likewise, that they be reverent in behavior, not slanderers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things—  that they admonish the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, homemakers, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be blasphemed.”

We have a responsibility to disciple the younger generation by speaking the truth. You will send a message to them if you acquiesce to using preferred pronouns, and it is not a message of truth.

I expressed my concerns about this to the leader of the co-op.  I don’t blame her for the situation arising, but I feel that God put it on my heart to raise this issue, even though it is uncomfortable.  

One piece of advice that I’ve heard suggested if you are put in the position of someone asking you to use pronouns that are different than their biological sex, is to politely decline, saying it violates your conscience to do that, because of Genesis 1:27.  I feel that is a good option, as it is speaking the truth in love, and we have a responsibility to do that.  We owe it to God, but we also owe it to the young people around us.

“And He Himself gave some to be apostles, some prophets, some evangelists, and some pastors and teachers, for the equipping of the saints for the work of ministry, for the edifying of the body of Christ, till we all come to the unity of the faith and of the knowledge of the Son of God, to a perfect man, to the measure of the stature of the fullness of Christ; that we should no longer be children, tossed to and fro and carried about with every wind of doctrine, by the trickery of men, in the cunning craftiness of deceitful plotting, but, speaking the truth in love, may grow up in all things into Him who is the head—Christ—from whom the whole body, joined and knit together by what every joint supplies, according to the effective working by which every part does its share, causes growth of the body for the edifying of itself in love.”

— Ephesians 4:11-16

8 Ways to Include St. Patrick’s Day in Your Homeschool (And Why I Think It’s Worth Celebrating)

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Until a few years ago, I didn’t really “celebrate” St. Patrick’s Day, other than maybe wearing green and having a Shamrock Shake. I didn’t really understand what it was about, other than a celebration of Ireland. As silly as it sounds, it was a Veggie Tales video that my children were given that told the story of St. Patrick bringing Christianity to Ireland that clued me in.

Since then, I also discovered that I have some Irish heritage – one of my great-grandmothers was descended from Irish Catholic immigrants. As a result, I’ve made a bit more effort to celebrate on March 17, and to teach my children more about the real meaning of the holiday and about their heritage (my husband has ancestors from Ireland as well).

I know that there are some non-Christian symbols associated with the holiday, but the same can be said for Christmas and Easter. That doesn’t change the original and important reason for celebrating. Also, some of those symbols are misunderstood. The reason a shamrock is used to represent St. Patrick is because he used the three leaves to teach the people of Ireland about the trinity, not about “luck”.

I recently had someone tell me that it is a “Roman Catholic” holiday. Actually, many Protestants also celebrate it, as St. Patrick brought Christianity to Ireland more than a thousand years before the Reformation, meaning that Catholicism equalled Christianity at the time. There wasn’t another option.

If you plan to celebrate it this year (or are teaching your children about Ireland), here are some ways that you can include it in your homeschool:

  1. Make a Shamrock Shake or dairy-free version
  2. My Book About Ireland copywork
  3. St. Patrick’s Day Notebooking Pages Freebie
  4. Video: Drive-thru History Adventures
  5. Video for younger children:  Veggie Tales – St. Patrick
  6. Music video of a beautiful Irish hymn filmed in Ireland
  7. Art Project:  Simple Shamrock Painting
  8. Read-Alouds:

I hope that you find these useful, and that you have a blessed St. Patrick’s Day!

Pulling Back the Veil on Comprehensive Sex Education

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Comprehensive sex education

Recently, a teacher in Philadelphia made waves when he posted a series of tweets about how uncomfortable he was teaching through distance learning this fall.  His concern was that he would not be able to have honest conversations with his students about issues like gender and sexuality, knowing that the children’s parents might overhear.  He said that he operated on a “what is said here, stays here” premise within his classroom.  Personally, I feel that if a teacher is not comfortable with the content of a conversation with a student being overheard by their parents, then they probably shouldn’t be having the conversation in the first place. 

This reminded me of an article that I read a few years ago.  A school district was planning to implement a new sexual education curriculum and it was available at a meeting for parents to peruse.  Only one parent showed up, and she was appalled when she read it.  She took photos and posted them to the internet so other parents would be aware.  The curriculum, which was intended for middle-schoolers, gave explicit instructions on how to perform every sexual act imaginable, along with crude illustrations and jokes, which made light of the whole subject.  While researching this, I found numerous articles about today’s sexual education and reservations that parents have about it, from California1, Washington State2, Scotland3, Canada4, and South Africa5, among others.

When I was in school, sexual education included learning the basic scientific facts of reproduction, the risks involved, and how to avoid disease.  I also remember our teacher explaining to us how serious a responsibility it was to become sexually active and how it was not something to rush into before one was ready or to allow oneself to be pushed into.  However, in recent years, the United Nations has been encouraging countries to adopt something called “Comprehensive Sexual Education,” which focuses more on the pleasure aspect and appears to encourage sexual activity in minors.

If the material presented to children in school, by teachers whom they are taught to respect, makes it seem as if sex is not something to be taken seriously, that is likely to affect their attitude about it.  They may even feel like a “prude” if someone pressures them to engage in sexual behaviors that they don’t want to.  Besides the negative emotional consequences that a child may experience as a result of early sexual activity, it could also open children up to exploitation.  Kim Wendt, co-founder of Informed Parents of Washington, told The Christian Post that Seattle-area police officers who have worked in the human trafficking division, after viewing content in the CSE curriculum in her state, say the material mirrors how traffickers groom their child victims to enter the sex trade2. In Canada, there was a scandal over the development of their CSE curriculum, because it was overseen by a deputy education minister who was later convicted on charges of creating and possessing child pornography and counseling another person to commit sexual assault on a child4.  

As a Christian, I want my children to have a biblical view of this subject, and I believe the responsibility of having these conversations should fall on the parents.  Teaching the basic biology in school is one thing, but indoctrinating children into a worldly view while putting them at risk of abuse is another.  I am grateful that I am homeschooling my two school-aged children, so that I can introduce this subject in the way that I deem best.

Having already raised two children to adulthood, I do not believe that there is a specific age at which all children need to learn about sex.  They are individuals and will begin to ask questions at different ages.  The only aspect of it that I make a point to instill in my children at a young age is that there are parts of their bodies that are private and that other people should not touch, and that they should tell me if anyone does.  Aside from that, I do not push information on them that they aren’t already expressing curiosity about.

When your child begins to ask questions, there are many book series out there by Christian publishers that give varying degrees of information, depending on the age of the child.

With the recent pandemic, many parents are now choosing homeschooling, and for some, it is only temporary.   There are also homeschoolers who enroll their children in school when they reach a certain grade.  This is a good time for them to take this into consideration.  If you are planning on sending your children to public school at some point:

  1. Look into what sex ed curriculum your school district is using and address any concerns you may have about it with the principal.  Some have links to their curriculum online, where you can view what is going to be covered and at what grades. 
  2. If it does not meet your standards, find out if you can request that your child opt-out of the class.
  3. Make sure that your child has a solid grounding in the biblical view of sex first, in an age-appropriate manner.   
  4. Teach your children why you believe what you believe.  I attended a Christian elementary school and was taught many things from a biblical viewpoint that, when I entered public high school, were challenged, and I had no rebuttal to.  I try to prepare my children for the things that they will hear from the world and explain that they are not part of God’s plan.

Shortly after I was born again, I heard a sermon in which the pastor explained that God is not trying to be a bully or ruin anyone’s fun by putting limits on our sexuality.  He, as our Creator, designed it a certain way, as a good thing, and Satan tries to distort it into something wrong.  When we go outside of God’s will, we experience hurt that He never intended, so God’s limits are for our protection.  He specifically pointed out how the Bible describes the sex act as “becoming one” (Mark 10:7-8) with another person and how this explains why, when a relationship ends, the pain of that can feel like losing one of your own limbs.  As a young woman who had experienced that hurt myself, it finally all made sense to me, and I was able to begin the process of surrendering this area of my life to God.

Unfortunately, in today’s world, the stakes are even greater.  With online predators who target children, pornography available at the click of a mouse, and human trafficking as a growing problem, it is more important than ever that our children are grounded in the Truth, what behavior is of God and what is not, so that no one is able to take advantage of them or lead them astray.

“But whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in Me to sin, it would be better for him if a millstone were hung around his neck, and he were drowned in the depth of the sea.” – Matthew 18:6

“Let the little children come to Me, and do not forbid them; for of such is the kingdom of God.” – Matthew 10:14

  1. Mary Margaret Olohan, “Here Are the Details on California’s Sex Education,” Daily Caller News Foundation, July 8, 2019
  2. Brandon Showalter, “Parents Push Back Against Wash State Sex Ed Bill; Gov Expected to Sign,” The Christian Post, March 10, 2020
  3. Dorothy Cummings McLean, “Scots Protest New Sex- Ex Curriculum that Forces Children to Endorse Sexual Choices of Adults,” LifeSiteNews, September 16, 2019
  4. Joe Warmington, “Liberals Can’t Deny Levin’s Role with Sex-Ed Curriculum,” Toronto Sun, March 3, 2015
  5. Tom Head, “Controversial Sex Education Curriculum Faces Parliamentary Review,” The South African, October 31, 2019